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Writer's picturetwinklemama2020

Anxiety Catching Up with Me

A week from today is my virtual baby shower. I feel so overwhelmed though my friend stopped over and helped a lot. My mom and dad are coming up Friday.

I have three games I have to plan out. I think they shouldn't be too hard.


We were given decorations from a friend who had a virtual baby shower in January. So we are so blessed to not have to buy any additional gifts. We just have to set up a table for the baby shower and decorations.


I also don't have a dress for my baby shower.


I also should get maternity photos.


I don't know if this is all just pregnancy stuff.


I can feel Baby T moving about like crazy.


I am in pain a lot. My pelvic bone hurts today, so I am wearing my maternity belt and tennis shoes. I have to go out to get blood sugar testing strips. I also was planning to take the chance at going to the outdoor mall and try on maternity dress. I don't want to do this, but I also need a dress for those two events in the next few weeks and I kept changing my mind.

Though, at the rate I am going, I am pretty sure I will accomplish none of these things.


I really don't know what is going on with me, I have just gotten so lazy. I am describing it as a type of overwhelm. I didn't want any help with anything this whole pregnancy, and I still do not, but I am just not doing as much as I should and I can't decide at all.


I am also a crying mess.


I cry about how much I love my husband.


I cry reading other moms writing about their love for their child, because I feel the same way. I cry about my memories, thinking about the people I went to high school with and love so much, even though I haven't spoken to them in years. I cry at how sad that we have grown apart.


My throat kills today, it has for the last few days, because I was on acid reflux medication and now I am not.


Maybe Baby T will have lots and lots of hair after all.


Pregnancy during a pandemic seemed like a great time, but now that I am at the end it is annoying and I am so drained. I wish I could spend time with my friends who have been mothers already. I wish I could go shopping with my sisters. I wish I could make fun out of this time.

My husband and I got our Covid vaccines a few days ago, he got very, very sick. I had no symptoms at all.

My countdown to Baby T says 65 days, but I know it will probably be much, much sooner. Last night I dreamt it was only 47, which is June 10th. Let's remember that.


I haven't even been doing my normal exercise routines the last few days, only doing a lot around the house. I think trying to eat more frequently leads to so much less time in a day for me. I already sleep about 13 hours a night, with many interruptions.


And now I try to snack every 3 hours, I take roughly an hour to eat each of those times. I am such a slow eater and so uncomfortable.

My blood sugars have been okay.


I am looking into other high protein snacks.


I am dying for a diet coke but I have heard that is not recommended during pregnancy, also not recommended with diabetes as it can mess with your blood sugar, but I prefer soda when my stomach is so upset.

I still haven't gained weight, only losing it since the diagnosis of gestational diabetes. I am eager to get to my next ultrasound to make sure Baby T is still growing and happy, though I can assume by her intense activity over the last few days.


I thought I would be bigger by the time we were going to take maternity photos. But I am shrinking because the rest of me is losing weight and my husband thinks because of the diet change I am not bloating as much, even though I burp constantly and have acid coming up my throat constantly now.


Did you also fall into a weird mood during your third trimester?




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