Hello ALL! I have been waiting months to tell you we are expecting a baby on July 4th! Today I am 11 weeks and 5 days. I have just sent the announcement to family, friends and my personal social media accounts. So now I am here to announce to you all.
In October, I felt like I had the flu and was sure that meant I was pregnant, sure enough 2 days later we got our positive pregnancy test.
I have blogged weekly about pregnancy that are going to release daily on December 24th. We found out at 3 weeks and 3 days, so that sure made this journey a long one. It has been painful. I have been sick almost constantly since 5 weeks.
I threw up every other day for about 5 weeks, from about 6 weeks to 11 weeks. I am now going on a week of no vomiting. I still have a bit of nausea, but no vomiting helps.
My ears and sinuses have been congested since 9 weeks. This is still painful every single day. Some days I can only cry because it hurts so bad that I can't eat. Chewing is painful, drinking is painful, talking is painful, hearing is painful. I have been taking Flonase daily, but it doesn't offer any relief.
These pains have made this time really drag! I am also beyond exhausted all the time! I sleep for over 12 hours every night and still drag through my day, and I am ready for bed by 8pm. I have made myself workout, do things around the house and get excited each day.
We will even know the sex of our baby soon!
It feels like it has been 9 months already, just not being able to share any of this with you all.
I check the baby's heartbeat daily with a Doppler my friend let me borrow before we even got pregnant. We found the heartbeat at 10 weeks and 2 days; I have checked daily since. Baby is always heard far on my right side, because I have a tipped uterus. I am not sure if that is exactly why, but it makes sense to me. So I pass that on to you.
This is a little earlier than most announce still, but I have been anxiously awaiting to tell you all so I can share my pregnancy in real time.
Baby Independence is just a nickname I have named our little one before we know the gender. We will not sure Baby's name here so I may call this Baby Independence forever on this blog. We will have to see if it still fits when they have arrived.
I hope and pray for all the other mama's who have experienced a loss that your rainbow comes soon. It hasn't erased the pain of knowing that in this life we will never get to know our little angel twins. I will miss them for the rest of my days. I will ALWAYS wonder what our life would have been.
But I am so thankful to God that we will get to experience parenthood on this earth. Assuming all goes well from here on out. After 10 weeks I have just taken fully for granted that baby's do still die later in pregnancy. I have many family members and friends who have lost their baby's late. But I just know in my heart that this baby will be here with me.
IT WASN'T ALWAYS THAT WAY!
At 7 weeks, just after our first ultrasound, I LOST IT! I was positive my sweet baby had died on me. I woke up 2 days after the ultrasound from a nightmare of holding a disintegrating fetus in the palm of my hand while I bled out.
I called every doctor's office I could think of just sobbing, trying to get them to tell me that my dream meant nothing.
But I learned a very tough lesson that day. I am the only one who can help my anxiety. I had to sit with that fear for two weeks before our next ultrasound at 9 weeks, that I begged to have. And you could not imagine the relief when I saw a dancing little baby on that screen. MY baby was still there.
From that day on, I've known we are meant for each other. That God gave me this gift and that this baby loves me as much as I love her.
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