My husband and I have been trying to make sure we are putting each other first following the miscarriage and heartache. We have cooked together a lot, which is one of our favorite things to do together.
One night we made pretzels together, which was a lot of fun. It took all evening to make the dough, let it set in the covered bowl, cut and shape them, then give them a baking soda bath and leave them to set again before baking.
Last weekend we made edible chocolate chip cookie dough, it was simple and cheap. We used to argue about cookie dough because whenever we would make cookies I would steal a spoonful of dough and my husband believes that I will die when I do this so it always turned into a small argument. Now we have edible cookie dough without any of the risks and he now knows the magic that a spoonful of uncooked sugar and chocolate hold.
Thursday night we made 2 more batches of cookie dough, another chocolate chip and a funfetti cookie dough. We also made a tuna noodle casserole together for dinner Thursday as this was something I craved my last pregnancy but didn't eat for the risk of mercury.
I still burp almost constantly, I have tried tums, Pepto-Bismol and Gas-X but as soon as I relax I still have hundreds of tiny burps come up. I can decrease them by doing some deep breathing. I had another round of some serious mouth sores. Heartburn is still happening frequently, something I had only experienced once before I became pregnant but suffered at least every third day during my pregnancy. I woke up Monday morning at 4 am with nausea, burping, backache and sore breasts and was not able to fall asleep again until 7 am. Tuesday morning I woke up at 6 am with a stomachache, burping and having to go to pee and just stayed up for the day.
I did not feel good Tuesday so I spent the day in bed watching Twin Peaks until 1 pm when I went for a stroll up and down our road. Wednesday I had sore muscles again and have some cramps so took it easy again. Thursday I took it easy again I sprayed for weeds and made dinner, did some laundry but mostly laid down.
Tuesday night I took one Tylenol pm capsule when I tried to go to sleep because I had a headache, anxiety and some stomach cramps. So I slept in until 9:30am without interruptions.
Thursday morning I woke up at 4 am again with to stomach cramps, having to pee, back aches and a headache. I took Tylenol at 6:45am and went back to sleep. I woke up at 9:45am and fell back asleep again until 11:30. My back feels like it did at 5 weeks pregnant with the twins and I am having a ton of clear sticky cervical fluid.
Friday I called the Doctor about the symptoms I have been having because a friend suggested I make sure that it isn't an infection of the uterus. The Doctor believed that it is hyper-ovulation causing a surge of hormones. I am very in tune with my body so I am not surprised this is something I was able to pin down.
My husband and I did have sex every other day during the time that I ovulated so I am hoping and praying if the time is right we have conceived at least one healthy baby this week.
I also am not entirely sure what the chances are of a pregnancy resulting even when you have sex on the most fertile days.
I was told a story recently by my counselor, she had a miscarriage and then shortly after conceived her son. Her son is a brute, he is very tough and strong. So she felt that her son's soul came around with the first pregnancy and decided that that body wasn't strong enough for him. So he left and came back for her next pregnancy and that body was the right one for him.
So I am carrying a hope like that for my babies. That they are coming back to be with me in better bodies. Maybe it won't be twins again but hopefully I will have 2 children at some point and maybe only one comes back now and the other has to wait a while to come back.
I don't feel that I have conceived yet but hopefully soon we will have a new pregnancy. I won't share as early on here as I did with the twins but I will give updates once we confirm the viability. I have decided to wait until 9 or 10 weeks to confirm that though. I will write weekly updates on how I am feeling when I have a positive pregnancy test but I will save them as drafts and release them after I have seen the baby. Last pregnancy I was lucky enough to see my babies at 6 weeks and 8 weeks which is why I felt like announcing seemed safe but that did not turn out to be the case. Of course I have no regrets about sharing everything I did with that pregnancy, I had immense support during my miscarriage that I know most women are not privy to.
I am just so ready to be a MAMA! I want to give all my love and time to someone else, I want a higher purpose.
Our Stay-at-home order is starting to be lifted but I don't really want to take any chances yet, I already lightened up a lot after we lost the twins. However, hoping to conceive again we don't want to have Corona Virus interrupt our attempts.
I'll be sticking to low-risk activities for now.
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