My D & C

On Monday May 11, 2020 I went in for a Dilation and Curettage to the hospital, where I was treated wonderfully. It was such a hard experience but nurses, doctors and assistants made the experience much more bearable.

My mom and dad came up on Friday immediately after I got the news that my babies were gone. They spent the weekend with us and then took me for my D & C on Monday while my husband had to work. It was a big comfort to have my mommy with me while I went through one of the scariest experiences.

I begged the Dr. to check for a heartbeat on Baby A just one more time in case we were wrong. I knew that this is impossible but waiting with babies still inside of you, feeling incredibly pregnant is confusing and makes you feel that maybe, just maybe we weren't sure enough and the baby is still in there growing.

No luck, as I knew would be the case my babies had shrunk to teeny tiny unrecognizable blobs.

The procedure itself was very comfortable, they gave me a shot before inserting the IV which was so painless. Everyone made sure I was comfortable all the time and they gave me anxiety medication that kept me from falling apart all day.

I woke up after the surgery and asked if the babies were big, they said no, now I know just how tiny they were when removed. I was very calm and just had to wait for the medications to be in so I could leave the hospital.

I was given Ibuprofen for pain that I could take every 6 hours and Methylergonovine Maleate to take every 8 hours to shrink my uterus back to pre-pregnancy size.

Now it has been a week since my D & C, I had heavy bleeding, losing the tissue that had built up to protect the babies the Sunday after, this was accompanied by mild cramping, slightly worse than a period. It is now similar to a period type of bleeding. I am finally not swollen everywhere and I am still burping a lot but I can actually breathe now.

They did run tests to see what caused the miscarriage, and have found everything normal except that I did not ask them to check their DNA to see if there was a chromosomal abnormality, I figure that is what it is, and paying a lot of money to have that tested seemed unnecessary since this is our first pregnancy and our first loss. Twins are even harder I feel since they created an embryo and then created two embryos! That is wild.

I have created a box for the babies with all of the memories and gifts I have with them that I put in the closet of the would-be nursery. I will post a picture of the box accompanying this blog post.

I have included the book on multiple pregnancies that I ordered and read a little over half of before finding out that I would not be a twin mommy. The book on expecting two that my best friend had sent to our house, that I did not ever get a chance to read. The pregnancy test that I took April 2, 2020 and found out I would be a mother. The journal that I wrote them everyday from the day I had a positive pregnancy test until after I had been told they were no longer viable. Both sets of their ultrasound pictures from 6 weeks and 8 weeks. Shirts that were also a gift from my best friend that I couldn't wait to put them in. The maternity shirt that I wore only around the house, I was so excited to be able to wear it everywhere my whole pregnancy. And finally the cards that we received as condolences after finding out they are no longer here with us.

My babies were incredibly loved in their short life. Thank you!