Today is Saturday, I have now been taking Levothyroxine for a week. So far my mood has been a little lower and my energy levels have been much lower than before. My Doctor asked me to give in 3 months so I am just going to note how I am feeling and give it more time to sort out. I have also had diarrhea since I started Levothyroxine, which adds to my lack of energy. I don't feel like eating because it is painful.
I had another 3-day period this cycle. My period started Saturday morning, and it was heavy, then Sunday and Monday it stayed that way. Tuesday it stopped, but after intercourse I had some bright red bleeding again. Wednesday, it was back to fertile cervical fluid, but Thursday I had another bout of bright red bleeding that slowed to brown spotting Friday and today. I am having cramps and my breasts are sore, which isn't typical of the days after my period.
It is day 8 of my cycle and I am trying to keep up on a schedule to conceive this cycle, if that is possible. I am doing yoga for fertility and walks for exercise to see if that also helps. But the yoga is getting harder because I am so tired and my muscles are all tight. My walking is very slow, but I don't mind that.
I have had headaches a few times this week, but nothing debilitating, so I have just drank a cup of coffee on those days. I cannot fall asleep as easily at night, so I am still trying not to drink caffeine. I think the headaches have to do with hormones.
My eating is better since starting Levothyroxine, I get full after eating much smaller meals and I am eating more frequently.
I hope that this helps my body regulate my eating. I don't feel weak and starving, which is what I was suffering before starting the Levothyroxine, so that is nice. I don't wake up starving, like I used to. I feel little like eating at all, really.
This month I am taking a break from the ovulation strips so we will just have to time on our own. I would like to just have regular sex and not put so much thinking into the trying to conceive part.
The month we conceived the twins was actually the month I pulled back and told my husband I was no longer looking into what we should do to conceive to help lower my stress levels. I was just feeling overwhelmed the month before.
I have stayed very sad these last couple days though too; I don't know what that has to do with.
I hope to continue to feel better and that my mood changes with it. I know thyroid plays a part in our emotions. Feeling so exhausted is causing me to feel a lot more melancholy. Today I had to get a Corona Virus test for my procedure on Tuesday.
The last time I really did feel happiness is when I was pregnant with the twins.
I think I just thought that time would continue to heal this ache, even though I knew early on the longer it took us to get pregnant again the worse I would feel, I didn't want to feel that way. But I knew I would felt hopeless. I have hope, I just seem to sink deeper into depression.
Granted, my husband pointed out when I was telling him how sad I am that I am mourning the loss of my twins and losing a job all while going through a global pandemic with a compromised immune system while I cannot return to any semblance of normal. I have gone through a lot and maybe I need to be softer on myself. Maybe I need to just allow myself to be sad. Stay in bed for a few days and read and watch movies that make me feel better.
Today I drove through the area I spent a lot of time when I was 20-22. It looks so different the only things I could identify was the townhouse I spent my 21st birthday in and threw up all night and all day the following day. The grocery store that I remember buying pasta at to cook and watch movies in bed all night. And finally a gas station that I was getting a slushie at and a cop talked to me for 2-3 minutes, I thought I was the worlds most interesting girl. But a friend pointed out that much more likely I was in a college town during welcome week, and the police officer thought I may have been intoxicated. I was not, and I was 21 already. But I looked young. I was so petite and have a high pitched voice most people thought I was much younger until recently, now I am not sure what age anyone thinks I am but I am just an old lady trying to have a baby.
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