So with the start of a new cycle happening last week, we are now in make baby mode. I am thinking about everything I consume in terms of if that is a helpful food, drink or product for conception. So we are eating healthier all the time, which is made easier by our garden! We have been eating turkey sandwiches with tomato, onion, pickle and arugula on them.
Cold turkey is not safe after pregnancy has started, but I think I am still waiting to ovulate at this point in the cycle. So we plan to stop eating turkey after this package is gone, probably today or tomorrow.
I crave raw onions almost constantly since I got my IUD removed in November 2019. I had heard that cravings come from your body lacking a nutrient, so I finally looked up to see what raw onions could mean. I found that onions improve liver function, the sulfur in them stimulates liver function. Increased liver function helps balance hormones, that is what I think I may crave them for. There is a very long list of benefits raw onions offer, so I have decided to just indulge in my craving every time I have it.
I am walking mostly for exercise because my body more exhausted again. Every time I have gone out for a walk or a run I have had to turn around early to use the bathroom, I have taken that as a sign that my body may want me to take it easier. My husband is going out for walks with me as well. Which is good for him, he is a pacer and high energy, but he rarely puts his high energy into exercising.
I am finishing the antibacterial soap that the Doctor requested for my D & C. I read recently that antibacterial soap is not safe for pregnancy. Antibacterial soap exposes the mother and the fetus to triclosan and triclocarban which poses health risks. The triclosan and triclocarban is found in the urine of mothers using antibacterial soap. So I will switch back to dove products soon.
I ordered new makeup a few days ago and I read the ingredients list before placing my order looking for antibacterials that would be unsafe for pregnancy. I also made sure it was free of retinoids and salicylic acid. This is not a first thought when pregnant. I didn't think much about what was in my makeup. Both my husband and I have sensitive skin so I responded in kind with my makeup routine, I am very particular about what I put on my skin but that was more that I was specifically looking for makeup products safe for rosacea.
A reason I am working so hard at trying to conceive this month, other than I want to become a mama as soon as possible, is that our due date would be our two-year wedding anniversary.
On Saturday my husband found a flightless monarch butterfly on our deck, He brought him in to feed him a bit of sugar water. We learned quickly that the poor butterfly could never fly. I took care of the butterfly all day Saturday, let him sleep next to my bed that night and then took care of him Sunday, but Sunday he started going downhill quickly. His wings were falling quickly into worse shape. When we found him, we thought his wings were just wet, and he was waiting for them to dry out. But as I let him crawl all over my hands, I noticed he had some deformity to them.
He was never going to be able to fly and probably had a parasite that was causing his health issues. So as he started to emit this brown liquid and his wings started to shrivel I came to the realization that I had to put him down. I was only keeping an unhealthy butterfly holding on that wasn't able to do what he needed to do to live. Nature wouldn't have let him start going downhill slowly like that.
So, Sunday night we put him in a small sandwich bag and put him in the freezer to fall asleep quickly and put him out of his misery. I cried a lot because I had spent 36 hours hand feeding him and letting him climb all over me. But more importantly because nature is cold and unforgiving. That baby butterfly wasn't going to be able to do what he needed to do to live and it felt especially similar to my twins I lost, we assume they didn't make it past 8 weeks because they had a chromosomal issue and I use that as my only solace in the pain. My babies would not have lived outside of my womb or maybe without assistance and that is not what we are created for. We need some sense of independence.
For comfort my husband and I discussed how maybe our baby butterfly went to find out baby twins in heaven and is flying around him them giving them entertainment and comfort. He is free at last.
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