I ended up going to the OB Friday, this Doctor prescribed 25 mg of levothyroxine sodium to help my thyroid. Levothyroxine sodium is a synthetic thyroid hormone that can help an under-active thyroid, which is my case. They tested my thyroid back in July when I went for my infection and lack of period. The results were low but still in the healthy range.
This Doctor said that even though it is healthy, it is not where it needs to be to achieve a regular cycle and a pregnancy. So if only to help me after the miscarriage, she thinks there is no harm in taking this low dose and hopefully my period will regulate. I should contact her if it does not regulate in the next three months or I do not achieve a pregnancy in the next six months. Then we can discuss further options to treat infertility.
I am feeling so much better. My real period came Saturday morning after taking my first pill. I woke up at 9 am with an actual flow so I went back in my app and changed the information to just spotting until today, the 27th day of my cycle. This is now consistent with my periods before the pregnancy. But, from my understanding you don't have a real healthy cycle until you don't have spotting before your period, which would make sense, things were off this month.
Last week was a hard for me. I was triggered last week when I heard someone explaining away other miscarriages with falling, or doing something unhealthy to cause the miscarriage. I know this is not the case with my miscarriage but it makes me feel that so many people feel it is mine or my husband's fault that we miscarried.
I am still sad. I miss my twins and I would have given absolutely anything to have had healthy babies from that pregnancy. All I have wanted my whole life is to be a mother.
I had terrible nightmares about how much weight I have gained, that my husband would leave and we could not conceive. So that set the tone. As the week went on, I felt worse and by Thursday night I had a breakdown crying about how unfair it is. I know that the grief will come and go in waves. I know there will be days that are hard and days that I have more optimism and know that things will continue to get better.
Another reason that seeing the OB on Friday was so good for me. She reminded me that the twins were unhealthy, not me. That them turning to identical twins made the chromosomal abnormality even more likely.
Thursday while feeling bad I got out Halloween decorations and started doing deep cleaning of the house. I washed windows inside and out; I did vacuuming of the upstairs and the downstairs. And finally, I did some dusting. This was good for my mental health. I kept a busy mind thinking about cleaning the house and decorating for Halloween. Which admittedly, is still a long time away, but Halloween is my favorite holiday.
I have been reading The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I was browsing my husband's book collection and thought I would take a trip down memory lane and read the book again; I remembered reading it in middle school.
This period has come with cramps and headaches. Today is Monday, the 3rd day of my period, my flow has been consistently medium flow. Saturday and Sunday I took Ibuprofen for my headaches and cramps.
But today, Monday, I have been feeling well enough to just deal with the cramps.
I started doing yoga to help with stress and anxiety management last week. I have been focusing on doing yoga for period cramps. I believe this has helped.
Next week I have my upper scope to see what is going on with my constant burping.
My in-laws have expressed concern to my spouse I over-share on my blog. What do you guys think? I thought the purpose of a blog was to over-share and help others in similar situations not feel so alone? I created my blog as something different from what it has ended up as. But each post I make, I think, what would I like to read about someone else?
I want to know what they had to do to achieve a healthy pregnancy, especially if they were in a similar situation to me.
I have felt disappointment from many celebrities who experience Crohn's Disease and other health concerns that do not offer any transparency to their situation and health concerns because they deem them as gross. I am disappointed by that because I; myself felt gross because of the issues I had and I know so many others, especially younger friends who feel disgusting because of things they have no control over. There is already so much shame in having subpar health, no one needs to add to that by telling others that that part of them is gross.
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